so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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