i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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