just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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