the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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