nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am available for nakedness
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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