Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
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the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
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They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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