either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
whose ass print is on the piano?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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