just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
