they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
