She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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