You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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