i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
