Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
