Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
