considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
