i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize