Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize