Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Also, beer. Big fan.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
