Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
