i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Someone signed my nipple.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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