dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
