We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
