I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
