he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
