Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Im part way to drunk.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
