Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
