My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
