this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
