i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
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What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure