There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.