ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
