yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.