He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
