what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
