She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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