I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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