I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
