So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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