Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize