i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
