he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
