Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
