you would pick up someone in the library
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
