i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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