i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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