why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
