The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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