Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
