Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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