its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
