What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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