bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
