Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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