You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
