This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
