Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
