I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
