honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
