i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
