She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
