I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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