just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
