Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
