All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
