Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
