We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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