He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
