If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
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I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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