if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
