thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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