I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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