i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
